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I stood there looking calm and collected but inside my nerves were tingling, my heart was fluttering and I was doing my best not to bounce on the spot. Don't be fooled though it wasn't only the excitement of having my cousin Shan visiting me in China it was also the nervousness, anticipation and fear of the situation that were making my emotions go haywire.
The inevitable was happening and I couldn't stop it at this stage, all my inner demons were awakening. So many emotions ran through me I thought I would scream out aloud. They fought with each other in my head as if in court proceedings, each screaming over the other fighting for importance. I took a deep breath reading myself to give them the usual talk. "Shut the fuck up will you'll!" I yelled at them inside my head. They lulled down a little, just enough for me to add a quiet I can do this to the end of my pep talk.
I didn't need to ask myself why I was feeling all these feelings, I always did no matter what. The question I needed to ask was will this visit from Shan give me any closure. A particular demons voice carried above the lull, "Be careful what you wish for." I feared it was right, I don't even know what I wished for. All I knew is that the sexual tension between Shan and I had really fucked with my mind. I battled with the the demon, he's my cousin why am I yearning for him sexually, he's my cousin he shouldn't have touched me all those years ago, why didn't I stop him, why didn't I want him to stop, did he even remember or care after all these years? The demon just twisted my questions into more anxiety. I chided myself, why am I thinking about sex when my cousin who I haven't seen or spoken to in ages was visiting me, he would be the first family to visit me in China since I started work here 2 years ago. The demons swiftly answered that question much to my annoyance, "Rhea you've been lonely and depressed since forever and for some fucked up reason you always revert to Shan in your imagination to hold you and make you feel safe, feel loved and wanted. As if you mattered, but just so you know he may just be using you for a holiday and maybe even easy sex." I mentally scowled at the demon ordering it to shut up. Easy sex! Oh the audacity of this demon, who I willingly let live in my soul. I sighed, it was right I guess, as much as I managed to keep myself strong these dark thoughts nagged at the back of my mind.
My thoughts were interrupted by an airport announcement.Shan's flight had landed a little while ago, he should be getting through security in a little while. I bussied myself searching for a place we could have a quick snack and maybe a drink, I needed one for the ride back to my apartment. As people started coming through the gates I found a place up front where Shan could see me. About 10 minutes later there he was, just as I had remembered albeit he had put on a little weight since I last saw him in person. He was the same tall, athletic, pale and handsome guy. His hazel eyes, still slightly dark around the edges, scanned the crowd looking for me. His slight smile told me that he hadn't lost the habit of pushing his tongue against the inside of his teeth whilst thinking. I stepped away from the crowd a little so he could spot me, which he did before I could even think of picking up my hand to wave at him.
The moment we locked eyes his smile widened and his well defined face, which now sported a neatly kept and shaped beard, brightened. That was the smile I remembered, not the poised and 'I think I'm so cool' one that he'd been posting on Instagram all these years. He waved and then ran his fingers through his soft brown curls, another hood habit he still had. I waved back as he quickened his pace toward me. My anxiety seemed to have disappeared as we greeted each other with warm hugs and smiles. What can I say my inner demons are just as scared of facing reality as I am so they disappear while I go about as if nothing is wrong.
The next 2 days went by fast, filled with sightseeing, nights out drinking or dancing. It felt good having fun with Shan like we did when we were younger. He is 5 years older than me and was brought up by my mum before she got married and moved out. My family always talks about how Shan was so excited when I was born, probably because I was the first baby in the family after him. Shan moved in with us when he started university and began working a part time job. We weren't overly close, it was a pretty normal cousin relationship except for the sexual tension that developed after I finished school.
Now, I wouldn't call myself that good looking as I was on the chubby side but others have described me as exotic as I look Persian. This probably contributed to me not realizing what was happening between Shan and I at first. I'm just over average height, an hourglass figure but a little chubby with large breasts, fair sun kissed skin, large brown eyes and long soft black curls that fell just below my shoulders. I often wore slightly tinted contacts, in an effort to bring attention away from my weight, which gave my eyes a green tinge.
I noticed a slight change in Shans behavior that started with lingering hugs, a few occasional touches on my butt which I didn't see as sexual as first. I can't even recall how it exactly began but the hugs turned into him laying closer than usual, his hands lingered on my hips longer than needed. Weekend card games which included mandatory rolling around laughing as he was quite the funny guy, saw him holding me closer when trying steal cards from my hand. At times when he would pin me down while trying to tickle me I'd feel his crotch against my ass or his fingers brush my breasts. Then one night I woke up to him in my room, he slipped under the covers spooning me and grinding his cock against my ass. I felt him harden as his cock fell between my ass cheeks. We were still clothed, me in thin cotton shorts with a crop top and him in a tshirt and silk boxers. The silk felt so good against my skin. I remember laying really still, not wanting him to leave but a few seconds later he gave me a hug and left. This happened a few times after that night but always the same thing just a few minutes of cuddling and grinding, his hands exploring my body gingerly. I remember a few times I moved purposefully trying to get his fingers to touch my nipples or the tip of his cock to barely touch my pussy, but he never did.
I remember one particular time we were both home alone, I was working on a university project in my room when he walked in. I turned down my music to ask what he needed, he said he was going out later and just needed to iron some clothes. I nodded and got up to unplug my laptop then went back to laying on my stomach on the bed. We chatted about music while he ironed, when he finished he sat down on the bed beside me to see my work on the laptop asking what it was. I started to explain the coding and he leaned forward to get a better look. I felt his arm graze the small of my back as he rested it on the opposite side of me as he moved closer. He was now sitting crossed leg next to me with his arm over my back getting closer and closer. I didn't realise this until I shifted slightly to reach the other side of the keyboard and felt his hand on the side of my ass. It was also at this moment that the song changed, he asked what it was and before I could answer he reached over me toward my stereo to turn it up. As he was straightening up again his hand was back at the side of my ass but it didn't stop there, he kept moving and rested his hand on my right ass cheek squeezing lightly. My breath became heavy as he massaged and squeezed lightly now running his hand over my ass, I couldn't move. His hand slowly reached between me causing me to spread my legs as his fingers danced against my ass getting closer and closer to my pussy. I wondered if he could feel how hot I felt through my cotton leggings, I hoped I wasn't getting too wet either as the tight fitting leggings certainly wont hide it. His fingers got so close to my pussy but never touched it, it was driving me mad as all I wanted was for him to touch me, the slightest amount of pressure over my pussy. He didn't however, he just ran his hand up my back and to my hair. He would often play with my soft hair when sitting next to me so it wasn't out of the ordinary. He started to uncross his legs and I thought he was going to leave but instead he slowly got on top of me, I felt his cock rock hard and hot through his thin sweatpants against my thigh as he lowered himself onto me. I squirmed slightly which caused his cock to fall between my ass cheeks, he grinded against me hard before moving off me and on the other side of my bed to look at the stereo as if nothing had happened.
It never went further than that and he never addressed it either, not that I ever brought it up. I was to shy to do something like that, at this point we we in our early 20s. It seemed like he had opened the floodgates though, as I felt myself becoming more aware of my sexuality.
As time went by he moved out for another job, life got in the way, family issues between the adults got in the way and we didn't really keep in touch that often. To this day however, when feeling horny I'd fantasize about Shan and not my boyfriend at that time. I've had a few boyfriends since but nothing serious came out of any of those relationships. So when I got a teaching position in China I didn't hesitate to leave home.
When Shan called about staying with me while on a business trip in China I didn't see a reason to say no. He was staying for about 2 weeks which worked well for me as schools were closing for the holidays. The weekend had passed with nothing out of the ordinary happening, Shan had work for the next 4 days and I had the last week of school.
This website is for sale. If you're interested, contact us. Email ID: [email protected]. Starting price: $2,000